Simply Fabulous
by BleachedShadow
Summary: Yuuri's Mama always exclaim that boys are so boring, more fixated in getting dirty playing baseball than staying adorable and cute and letting her dress them up in dresses and frills. But what if Yuuri wasn't 'boringly boyish?
1. Prolouge

**Disclaimer: I do not own Kyo Kara Maou, this story is purely for my own amusement. I dun own the character, and I dun own the settings, hell I don't own anything you recognise even slightly. Please don't sue.**

Summary: Yuuri's Mama always exclaim that boys are so _boring_, more fixated in getting dirty playing baseball than staying adorable and cute and letting her dress them up in dresses and frills. But what if Yuuri _wasn't_ 'boringly boyish'?

AN: Er, dunno really what to say, just tell me what'cha think?

…

Prologue: The Beginning.

…

Six year old Shibuya Yuuri ran up to his mother and threw his arms around her legs, grinning up at her.

''Mama, mama! Can we play together? Pleeeease?'' Shibuya Miko giggled and swept her son up in her arms, pecking him on one cheek.

''Of course Yuu-chan, your mama would absolutely love to play with you, what do you want to play?'' Yuuri shone like a little sun and threw his arms around her neck.

''I wanna bake together with you mama!" Big black eyes surrounded by black eyelashes twinkled happily at her and Miko's heart melted and she tightened the hug around her absolutely adorable little son.

"Those chocolate cookies we made together last time were really really _really_ yummy!'' Miko squealed and squeezed her little sun, smiling radiantly down at him.

''That sounds like a great idea Yuu-chan! Do you want to make the chocolate cookies again or do you want to make something else?'' Yuuri pondered cutely for a moment, his face scrunched up delicately in thought. Then his face shone up again.

''I know, we can bake a cake! With strawberries and cream and chocolate and all kinds of yummy things!'' Miko laughed and carried her son towards the kitchen.

''That sounds like a wonderful idea, you get the big cookbook -you know the one I mean, the big purple one?- and I'll start pulling out the utensils we might need.'' She sat him down on the floor and he immediately ran towards the small shelf in the corner of the kitchen containing the cookbooks, and pulled out the big cookbook, the title saying 'One hundred different recipes of Cakes and Confectionery' and ran towards his mother, the big cookbook pressed towards his chest, and the two started pouring over the book, heads pressed together and giggling slightly, looking for a cake recipe that both looked and sounded yummy.

-o-O-o-O-o-

Shibuya Shoma wearily opened the door to his home after an long day at work, calling out a low, ''I'm home!'' and hanging up his jacket, putting his briefcase down and slipping his shoes off. He heard laughter coming from the kitchen and smiled as he heard the voice of his young son calling out.

''Daddy! Welcome home!'' He finished slipping his jacket home and heard the excited footsteps of his son running towards him, and he turned towards the sound and grinned, looking down.

''I'm home,Yuuri-'' and froze.

There, with wide black eyes blinking cutely up at him, a streak of flour across his cheek, his hair done up in pigtails and wearing a small pink frilly apron stood his son.

His supposed to be _boyish_ little _son_, looked nothing less than an absolutely _adorable_ little_** girl**_.

He staggered back a few feet and turned his shocked eyes to his humming wife as she swept into the hallway, looking ecstatic and wearing a matching frilly pink apron, a bowl filled with what looked like chocolate batter in her arms.

''H-honey? I though we had _agreed_ that you would quit dressing Yuuri up?'' His wife turned bright, sparkly eyes towards him and he gulped.

''But honey, Yuuri wanted to! He picked out the apron himself and asked me if I could do the pigtails on him, you know dear he can't really get them completely straight yet.'' She swept Yuuri up an a hug and clutched him tightly to his chest. "Isn't he just absolutely _adorable!"_ She squealed, and Yuuri giggled, turning large black eyes to his father.

''Look daddy! '' He said squirming out of from his mother grasp with some difficultly as she was reluctant to let her cute son go, and twirled around once he was safely on the floor, beaming at his father.

''Do I look pwetty?'' He said, giggling and looking up at him with those huge dark eyes. His father wavered for a while, stuck between the fact that his son looked completely _adorable_ in pink frills and pigtails, and the fact that no boy should really be_ looking_ that adorable, but at the sight of his beloved wife starting to glare at him and those large black orbs staring expectantly up at him, he gave in and patted his son the head, smiling down at him.

''You're really, really pretty my son.'' He said , but he couldn't help but add, ''But, it's not exactly what boys are supposed to wear...'' His son looked at him curiously.

''It isn't?'' Yuuri's dad looked back at him hesitantly.

''Well... No... Not really.. These are really more girls clothes...'' Yuuri blinked.

''Girls like Mama?'' Shoma blinked, startled.

"Well yes.." He said hesitantly, and Yuuri beamed.

"Great! I wanna look like Mama, she's so pwetty and wond'rful!" Shoma decided to give up as his beloved wife let out a joyful shriek that probably scared more than a few dogs in the neighbourhood and scooped his son up and danced around with him in her arms, babbling about how amazing and wonderful and adorable Yuuri is and how he isn't as boring as his brother- not that she don't love him of course but boys are just so _boring_- and say did Yuuri feel like trying on some more outfits? He shook his head as his young adorable son reminded his gleeful mother that they were baking cookies and cakes right now, but that they could always try on some 'pwetty' clothes later and could mama please teach him how to fix his own pigtails later?

The demon kindgom was certainly going to have one interesting Maou once Yuuri became old enough. Of course this wanting to be 'as pretty as mama' could always just be a faze, but as he looked over mother and son excitedly babbling together about clothes and cakes, heading towards the kitchen to finish up whatever they were working on, he doubted his Jennifer would ever let it be 'just a faze'.

She already had one boringly boyish boy (Shouri had refused everything to do with dresses and cutesy stuff once he was aware enough to know just _what_ those garishly coloured things his mother constantly tried to dress him in _were._) and one boyish boy that was quite enough according to her.

One thing was sure, Shoma though with an amused glance at his excited wife, the demon kingdom were never going to know what hit it.


	2. Swirly Surprises

**Disclaimer: I do not own Kyo Kara Maou, this story is purely for my own amusement. I dun own the character, and I dun own the settings, hell I don't own anything you recognise even slightly. Please don't sue.**

Summary: Yuuri's Mama always exclaim that boys are so _boring_, more fixated in getting dirty playing baseball than staying adorable and cute and letting her dress them up in dresses and frills. But what if Yuuri _wasn't_ 'boringly boyish'?

AN: Okay, I sort of have a problem. I have _no_ idea who to pair Yuuri up with, if I should just go with Wolfram, or Conrad, or maybe Gwendal...? Perhaps Günter? So, whoever's reading this, either leave me a review with your KKM guy of choice (Only guys, no ladies) or go to the poll on my authors page. If my poll doesn't include your guy of choice, please pm me or say it in a review or something and I'll add him to the poll. Another thing, I don't know shit about fashion, so if I happen to make some sort of unforgivable faux pas, er, try to ignore it, or say it in a review so I can fix it. I need all the help I can get.

'_Thoughts_'

"Speech"

…

Chapter 01: Swirly surprises.

…

Shibuya Yuuri, now fifteen year old rode his pale white bicycle down the street, his styled hair gently ruffled by the wind, humming some song under his breath and lips with a hint of pink sparkly lip gloss grinning widely. He was on his way home after school so he was dressed in his (in his opinion) extremely boring school uniform consisting of a black high collar jacket and a pair of black slacks.

He's tried to spiff the extremely uncreative uniform up a little (as much as the rules would allow him to) and had made some changes, like exchanging the fugly gold buttons for some more interesting ones, (_sparkly_ purple ones, _awesome!_) and fix the cut a bit so it fit his small form a better, but there was only so much the school rules allowed you to do. His one try to wear the female uniform one day had ended in weeks of detention, an uncomfortable visit to the principal, and his parents had been called to the school for a meeting. After that disaster he now just tended to wear the spiffed up male uniform on school days and wear whatever he felt like on weekends and holidays.

He was glad that he was at least allowed to wear any shoes he wanted, testified by the low heeled flats, white with pink details, that he was wearing. He could also wear whatever shirt he wanted under the black jacket, so right now he was wearing a pink shirt with white and purple and swirls on it.

If he hadn't been able to at least let some of his impeccable fashion sense out in his daily outfit he wouldn't have been able to stand it, he would have gone bitch crazy and chopped up the outfit with a pair of scissors. '_Though_,' he thought with a small giggle, '_it would have probably still looked waaay better'_.

He tramped the pedals and enjoyed the breeze on his face, this day was way _humid_, and as he glanced to the side he caught sight of a baseball team practising out in the blazing sun. He scrunched his nose up delicately, he couldn't imagine practising out here in the scorching sun, getting all sweaty and dirty.

_'But then again'_, he though, stopping his bike with his foot to glance over the members running around the field, '_there are always some benefits'. _He stared slightly dreamily as he caught sight of one particularly well built player, wiping sweat from his brow and guzzling down some water near the fence where Yuuri was standing, shamelessly ogling his muscular arms and the way his sweat sticky shirt stuck to his tanned skin.

Yuuri almost visibly shook himself, slapping a hand to his burning face and his eyes surrounded with the slightest hint of sparkly purple eye-shadow closing tightly.

_'Now now Yuuri, that's not the proper way for a gentleman to behave. Tear your eyes away mister! Continue heading home already, Mama is waiting for you to get home so we can start dinner!' _He finished with his train of thought and opened his eyes only to meet a pair of curious brown eyes a few feet in front of him, startling him so badly he let out a small shriek and nearly fell of his bike. The owner of the brown eyes, a classmate of his wearing the same _boring _uniform, startled almost as badly and after a few minutes of them both trying to calm their racing hearts Yuuri spoke up,

"Oh god Hi-chan, you nearly made my heart jump out of my chest!" He blinked his large black eyes, slightly curious now that his heart had stopped trying to beat out of his ribcage. "Did you want something?" Hideo (his classmate) spoke up, laughing nervously and rubbing the back of his head.

"I was just wondering what you were doing." He shot a curious glance at the practising baseball team. "Planning on joining the team?"

"Oh god no, " Yuuri laughed, waving a well manicured hand at him. "Just the thought of all that dirt and sweat make me shudder." Hideo chuckled.

"Yeah, what I thought. The practise is intense too, and you never get much free time left between practises. I think now that you've finally passed the finals and managed to get into high school, you should enjoy yourself a bit, you know? And not end up sweaty and dirty everyday." Yuuri shot him a beaming smile and agreed, quickly waving goodbye and continuing on before Hideo though to ask him again what he was doing standing there, if he now _wasn't_ going to join the team.

Not a conversation he wanted to have with anyone but his mother. _Ever_. Though the reaction would have been funny he mused, giggling slightly.

He got a bit further before yet another thing snagged his attention. '_I'm never going to get home at this rate'_, he thought distantly even as his eyes narrowed at the sight in front of him, one foot slipping down from a pedal and stopping the bike.

Straight in front of him was a group of five guys, four of them surrounding a smaller fifth one, bearing down on him with large sneers.

"You don't want to play with us?" On of them sneered out. Yuuri rolled his eyes. '_How cliché. The bullies never get original, do they?',_ he mused, pursing his lips in thought.

"Does mister 'Straight A student' have to study?" One mocked, and the others snickered like he had said something witty. "As expected of a new student." Yuuri rolled his eyes again, looking the situation over. He though he recognized the bullies from somewhere, they had probably bullied him sometime before, and he was sure that the guy they were bullying was named Murata Ken, and had been in a few classes with him. They hadn't spoken much though. '_What to do, what to do'._ He contemplated, pursing his lips again.

"I don't plan to hang around with you guys. Anyway, I don't have any money." Murata said, sounding exasperated. Yuuri gave him a sympathetic, yet equally exasperated look. '_Honey, if you're exasperated now, try dealing with jerks like this nearly twenty four seven_.' Just as he was about to step off the bike, his mind made up, he caught Murata's surprised gaze. He gave his fellow bully victim a bright grin and stepped fully off the bike, fishing his (black leather and jewel studded) handbag out of the bicycle basket. He might need it to defend himself, and burst of hairspray in their face might startle them enough to give Murata and him enough time to run far, far away. He stepped up behind the bullies, perched one hand on his hip and spoke up,

"Just _what _do you guys think you are doing?" They turned slowly around, "Huuh?" they grunted out menacingly, and Yuuri raised one arched eyebrow, very much unimpressed with their posturing.

"I don't suppose you're doing community service, perchance?" He asked, crossing his arms over his chest and tapping a dainty foot imperiously, eyebrow still raised.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't _Shibuya_." The tall blonde one said with a curl of the lip, and glanced back at Murata for a second before looking back at Yuuri. "What, are you two losers friends or something?" Yuuri bristled, putting both of his hands on his hips and glaring at them.

"The only loser here I see is _you,_ you Neanderthal." He sniffed.

The bullies bristled too and the one he'd insulted stepped closer threateningly.

"This 'loser' can kick your skinny ass Shibuya." Then he smirked maliciously. "Maybe you'd like to make a contribute to our group too, little loser?" Yuuri tensed and prepared himself to spray and run, "Only give us your-" just to find that someone else had beat him to the chase. While Yuuri and the bully had been trading insults Murata had slowly been inching away, and once he had deemed himself far away enough, he had turned tail and ran for the hills. Yuuri only had a small moment to gape after him -he had actually stopped to help that _ungrateful_- before the pissed off bullies rounded on him.

"Thanks to you, out prey got away! What are you going to do about it!" They closed in on him so fast he didn't even have a chance to get out the hairspray. "Well?" They snarled, and Yuuri only had time to **curse** Murata Ken in his mind before they grabbed him.

A few moments later found him pressed up against the wall of a public toilet roughly, the tall blonde bullies hands fisted in his jacket collar and his sneering face looking down on him.

"Well, Shibuya Yuuri, why don't you say something?" Yuuri coughed as the smell of tobacco wafted over him.

"How about 'You need to brush your teeth?'" He muttered under his breath and winced when he was pressed harder into the wall.

One of the other bullies continued like he hadn't heard Yuuri. "Or is Harajuku at a disadvantage?" Yuuri gave him a flat look and rolled his eyes.

"That's so _old_, seriously. I've heard that pun about 50,000 times since I was born. If you have any complaints, take them up with the one who named me." He doubted his mother would take that well, he had heard the story about the cool fencer with the gorgeous smile she had met in the taxi on the way to the hospital _so_ many times. He _still_ didn't really know exactly what the name Yuuri had to do with Autumn...

He came back to the present when he was manhandled away from the wall and dragged towards one of the bathrooms, more specially the _girls _bathroom. He started digging his heels in, eyes widening.

"Wait, that's the girls bathroom, guy's are not allowed in there." One of the bullies sneered, taking in his pink shirt, his feminine shoes, the handbag hanging from his arm and the make-up on his face.

"I really don't see the problem in your case." Yuuri glared darkly at them but refrained from answering, too worried about just _what_ they were actually going to do in said girl bathroom.

"Besides." The blonde continued with a dark grin, grabbing onto Yuuri's left arm while another bully took his right. "There's more stalls in here, so more privacy." That's when he caught on to just what they were going to do, as he spotted one bully head into a stall and lift up the toilet lid, other hand ready by the flush button.

No way. No _way_ are they pushing his head down into some bacteria infested public toilet, ruining his perfectly styled hair and carefully applied make-up!

He screeches just that shrilly right into their ears and uses his well manicured nails to leave deep gauges in their arms, (ruining his beautiful sparkly pearl colour nail polish. This day just can't get any _worse_)

As the bullies let go of his arms to nurse the scratches and curse colourfully he runs for the door, kicking a bully in the crotch as he went by and slapping another hard across the face when he tried to get in the way of Yuuri and sweet, sweet freedom.

He burst out of the public bathroom and starts running towards his bike, intent on getting as far away from the bullies as humanely possible in the next ten seconds.

He had _no_ idea just _how_ far that would be.

1 second.

He run towards his bike, adjusting the handbag on his shoulder and glancing nervously behind him.

3 seconds.

No sign of the bullies yet, he looked ahead, immensely glad he hadn't locked his bicycle or something else stupid.

5 seconds.

He could still hear muffled cursing from the bathroom, maybe they decided that he wasn't worth chasing?

7 seconds.

He glanced behind him, missing the medium sized water puddle right in front of him. And stepped right into it.

8 seconds.

He glances down at the splash, notices the large whirlpool occupying the formerly harmless looking puddles, and barely have time to let out a shrill scream before he falls head first into it and gets sucked down.

10 seconds.

A few bubbles raise to the surface of the puddle, before it shimmers and you can again see the, very shallow, bottom. There's no sign of the black haired flamboyant boy when the angry bullies finally burst out of the bathroom.


	3. Of Locals and Pitchforks

**Disclaimer: I do not own Kyo Kara Maou, this story is purely for my own amusement. I dun own the character, and I dun own the settings, hell I don't own anything you recognise even slightly. Please don't sue.**

Summary: Yuuri's Mama always exclaim that boys are so _boring_, more fixated in getting dirty playing baseball than staying adorable and cute and letting her dress them up in dresses and frills. But what if Yuuri _wasn't_ 'boringly boyish'?

AN: Current count for the pairing poll is 1 Wolfram, and 1 for Günter! There was something wrong with the poll on my profile before, but it's seems to be fixed now so go vote! Again, tell me if I missed some eligible guy that you want Yuuri too hook up with, and I'll add him to the poll. Everyone, please go vote!

(PS: From now on, I'm not counting any request in the reviews except those that request for a new pairing to be added to the poll. Everyone that has already said your pairing in a review, can you please add a vote on the poll instead? Thank you.)

'_Thoughts_'

"Speech"

…

Chapter 02: Of Locals and Pitchforks.

…

_Ok, this is officially the worst day ever_. Yuuri though miserably. He's cold, wet, his make up is completely ruined, his hair is a disaster and he has absolutely _no idea _where the hell he is. The scenery kind of reminded him of a picture he had seen once of the Alps, and that was _not_ in the least bit reassuring. He shivered in disgust at the feeling of his clothes sticking to him like a second skin and clutched his handbag to his chest and looked around, only spotting flower filled meadows, trees, trees and more trees and snow covered mountains in the far away distance.

He decided to have a complete freak out about his surrounding _later_, first he had to make sure nothing in his handbag had been damaged in the puddle/whirlpool/_thing _out of nowhere. He opened his handbag with trepidation, sighing with relief as most of the contents seemed to only be slightly damp. '_Now for the big test_', he thought as he spotted his cellphone under a bottle of hand lotion, fishing it out quickly, he flicked it open and let out a big puff of air in relief when the screen turned on as normal. '_Maybe now I can call for someone to pick me up...' _That though died as he saw that he had no reception. At all. He sighed and flicked the phone shut again. He was in the Alps after all (or at least somewhere like it), so maybe it shouldn't be surprising that he had no reception. He tosses his cellphone into the bag again and spotted his make-up kit, immediately drawing it out and studying himself in a mirror, grimacing at the wet strands of hair sticking to his face and the fact that his make up had almost completely washed off in the whirlpool from hell. He tried to dry himself off as much as he could with a small towel from his handbag and reapplied his make-up as carefully as ever (Just because he had been mysteriously flushed to the Alps by a whirlpool in a ten-inch puddle didn't mean that he couldn't look as _fabulous_ as ever.) Once he was satisfied with his make up, puckering newly glossed lips at his reflection and batting glittering lilac coloured eyelids, he shot his reflection a blinding grin and started towelling off his hair and styled it into a damp, stylish mess with the help of some hair gel.

Once he was feeling like his usual fashionable self did he slip his make-up kit back in his bag and rose to his feet, looking around slightly nervously. He had to admit that he had used his usual ritual of making himself look as good as possible to escape from the fact that he still had _no_ idea where he was and he couldn't even call for someone to help him.

Oh well, no one got anything done by sitting around and wallowing in misery! He shouldered his handbag and stood up, filled with determination to find some way to get home again, and find whoever it was that dragged him all the way to the Alps and _crush their balls-_ only to be knocked down by a basket full of purple fruits.

He hit the ground with a loud yelp and blinked at the basket perched precariously on his lap, the purple fruits in it nearly tipping out all over the ground. He nearly jolted the basket clear of his knees as a loud shrill scream filled the air, filled with unintelligible words and his gaze snapped towards the sound, where a pretty young girl with blue eyes and dirty blonde hair was staring at him with fear filled eyes, saying something in that strange language. Yuuri barely had time to blink before she took of running down a well trodden path towards where he could faintly see the top of a few houses and chimneys.

He sat there, eyes wide and confused, and looked down at the basket of fruit in his laps, vaguely noticing how odd they really were, his eyes studying their rich purple colour and slight pear shape. He had never seen one of those before and he itched to try one to see what they tasted like (if they tasted sweet maybe they could be used in baking?) but refrained, the purple pears belonged to the screaming girl and he wasn't some kind of thief!

Slowly he picked himself up off the dirty ground and setting the basket down on the ground and started picking up the purple pears that had fallen out of the basket.

One should always be a gentleman after all, it's just polite. He just had three more fruits to pick up when a large mob of people started running towards him, the girl who'd screamed in the arms of an older guy and tearfully pointing straight at him. The crowd immediately turned suspicious eyes on him and hoisted up their pitchfork and spades threateningly, some pointing them straight at him, jabbering to each other in that strange language.

Yuuri sighed and lifted his hands non-threateningly. Oh, why couldn't he catch a _break_?

He had enough good reflexes that he could dodge the first thrown stone, but the ten other after that were slightly harder and he winced when one hit him straight on the shoulder. '_That's gonna leave a bruise...'_

"What in gods name is wrong with you people!" He burst out, pirouetting out of the way of another stone and a few quick dainty steps to the right got him out the way of two. "Is it the fruit? I swear I wasn't trying to steal them, that girl over there just dumped them into my arms!" He yelped when another stone hit him on the leg and decided to shut up and start doing some sort of strange dancing run to get as far away from the angry mob as possible.

_'People in the Alps are CRAZY. Gotta remember to **never** vacation here!'_

Suddenly the loud whinny of a horse and the sound of stamping hooves broke trough the shouts and the whizzing of stones flying trough the air.

Yuuri's head snapped up and he looked up at this new arrival, apparently arriving by _horse_. He stared. His rescuer was wearing some sort of brown cape, pinned on his shoulder by a gigantic emerald jewel clasp. Yuuri's eyes widened.

Yuuri wanted that cape. A bit of a dye job, cutting it into a more elegant (and smaller) cut, some more pretty sparkly jewels studded onto it (maybe some sequins too) and it would be _wonderful_. Yuuri's sparkly eyes were fixed on that cape and barely registered that the owner of said cape were talking to him, and had moved off his horse to stand in front of him.

Until he grabbed Yuuri's head between his huge hands and tried to pop it like a grape (and messing up his hair!) and Yuuri's own, much tinier hands grabbed onto the vice like hands holding head, trying in vain to tug them off, protesting quite vehemently against the rough treatment.

"Ow, OW! My head isn't some stress-ball! _Hands off_, you're messing up my hair!" The last word ended in a shriek as the pain in his head suddenly multiplied, and for a moment he could see nothing but black, but the moment was quickly over and soon Yuuri was crouched on the ground, holding his throbbing head between his hands and trying to keep the world from spinning.

"Just our luck, he had to appear here." Huh?

"Let's get rid of him_ now._" Wait, what? Someone was talking _his_, _Yuuri's_ language. Yuuri looked up confusedly, his eyes glancing briefly over to the mob of crazies before being drawn to The-owner-of-the-awesome-cape.

"Well?" He looked up into the bright blue eyes of a man with wavy blonde hair and said awesome cape slung over his shoulders. He had an handsome square face with a cleft chin and he looks kind of like an American footballer if Yuuri's completely honest.

"Can you understand us now?" The-awesome-cape-guy-that-looks-like-an-american-footballer continued.

"Er, yes." Yuuri stammered, eyes flickering around and trying to wonder out what just happened. His eyes focused on the tall blond man for a minute (how come everything that inflicts pain upon him lately is _blond?_ First that blond bully now this blond macho guy trying to crush his head... Maybe there's just something about him that makes blondes go _crazy?_) and absently studied his clothes when he noticed somethid decidedly... odd.

The macho blondes clothes were old fashioned. And the he means _really _old fashioned. Like _knight age_ old fashioned. He though he could even spot a huge sword strapped to the guys hip, half hidden behind his awesome cape. He looked around, and noticed now that the villagers were also wearing really old fashioned clothes (How had he not noticed this before! This getting sucked through a whirlpool business must have shaken him up more than he thought...) He gave everyone surrounding him an odd look. Had he accidentally gotten stuck in the middle of some sort of theme park? A theme park with macho American football player knights and crazy rock throwing villagers as a theme? He rubbed his still aching shoulder and somehow, doubted it.

He looked at the tall blonde and noticed him rubbing his hands with an disgusted look, and cleaning them with the edge of his cape. He smirked with satisfaction, if he didn't want hair gel all over his hands he shouldn't have touched his fabulous hair in the first place! He slowly stands up again, still slightly shaky on his legs and hears several gasps of horror from the villagers.

"The monster got back up!" Yuuri jerked and glance nervously around. There were _monsters _on top of everything else?

"Someone, get the children back into the house!"

"Its no use," One villager said in a despairing tone, falling down on his knees."This village will be burned down, just like Kentanou twenty years ago."

"Now wait a minute, he is unarmed." Oh, Yuuri did not like the way this was going, almost all of the villagers were staring at him now, seemingly considering something.

"And just look at his hair and eyes, they are just like that of the Soukoku."

"If we can get our hands on some of that Soukoku stuff we can gain the strength of Froush." One man said.

"I've heard about that." The girl with the purple pears spoke up. "In the country to the west there is a huge reward for it."

Yuuri was extremely freaked out by now, and the fact that they kept pointing those things his way did NOT make things better!

"Now now, you guys." The large blonde spoke up. "This kid hasn't succumbed to anything yet. If we can _persuade_ him here and now..."

Yuuri had just started contemplating the wisdom of staying and haring what the crazy people had to say, or just _run for the hills_ when a loud voice cut trough the silence, calling out a name.

"Yuuri!"


	4. Of Knights, Duels and Skeletons

**Disclaimer: I do not own Kyo Kara Maou, this story is purely for my own amusement. I dun own the character, and I dun own the settings, hell I don't own anything you recognise even slightly. Please don't sue.**

Summary: Yuuri's Mama always exclaim that boys are so _boring_, more fixated in getting dirty playing baseball than staying adorable and cute and letting her dress them up in dresses and frills. But what if Yuuri _wasn't_'boringly boyish'?

AN: Eurgh, school _eats_ free time. It's like it's some sort of _delicacy_.

Anyway, current poll count is 4 for Wolfram, 3 for Günter, 2 for Conrart, 1 for Gwendal and 1 for Yozak! Wolfram seems to be a favourite but Günter aren't far behind! We'll have to see how it all goes! I think I'm going to keep the poll going for a few more chapter then, if I get enough votes, I'm going to choose the pairing! So everyone, hurry up and choose your darling before it's too late!

'_Thoughts_'

"Speech"

…

Chapter 03: Of Knights, Duels and Skeletons.

…

_Last on Simply fabulous: Yuuri has somehow ended up somewhere in the Alps, had rocks thrown at him, his head had been used as a stress ball by a macho blonde guy with a marvellous cape and had had very creepy looks directed his way. He was debating turning around and running like teenage girl that had just spotted Edward Cullen on the street when a male voice yelled his name._

"_Yuuri!"_

"Yuuri!" The man yelled again as the sound of hooves slamming into the ground filled the air. Yuuri twirled around and his eyes widened at the sight of three more swordsmen galloping towards him. The brown haired, handsome guy in the middle was the one who had yelled his name. He looked them over, noticing their soldier like outfits, swords thumping against their hips as they rode, and squeaked when he caught the man's intense brown gaze for just a second before the man (his knight in shining armor?) looked away, focusing above his head, presumably looking at the tall blonde, and Yuuri clenched a hand over his slightly racing heart, a small blush on his cheeks and a small giggle trying to force it's way up his throat.

'_Maybe I shouldn't bust this joint as quick as I can after all, if there's guys like __**that **__here. Blonde Nr 2 is after all quite handsome too, even though he's got the manners of an ogre._' His gaze drifted up slightly as he wondered, and stiffened as he caught sight of something in the sky that made him blanch as white as a sheet and let out a little frightened 'eep'.

There was a skeleton in the sky. There was a _skeleton_, flying in the sky with big brown bat-like wings.

'_Do skeletons fly when you put wings on them?_' He wondered slightly dazedly, and 'eeped' again and tried to stop his knees from wobbling as the skeleton suddenly waved a bony hand at him, like it had noticed him staring at it. '_It's a __**skeleton**__,' _He thought slightly hysterically. _'It can't_ _**notice**_ _anything. It doesn't even have EYES for gods sake!_' He stared at the flying skeleton and his expression grew even more despairing as he couldn't see any wires or anything _keeping_ it in the air. Yuuri couldn't help it, his legs were too shaky to hold him up and he flopped down on the dirt, his arms wrapped protectively around his chest and staring dazedly at the ground in front of him.

'_If someone doesn't start explaining all this insanity soon, I'm going to go on a bloody rampage and castrate someone with the blonde number two's huge sword. Most likely the tall blonde himself, because I just __**know**_ _that he is involved in this somehow, he's acting __**way **__too suspicious._'

The voice of his brown haired 'knight in shining armor' broke through his thoughts. "Don't draw your sword against the villagers, they aren't soldiers."

Yuuri rubbed his bruised shoulder. '_Doesn't mean they can't be dangerous._' He thought with a sulky pout.

"But your excellency..." One of the soldiers protested. Yuuri perked up, looking over to the brown haired man. So he wasn't only a soldier... That knight in shining armor scenario started to seem more likely by the minute, and he giggled slightly.

"Just do it!" The brunette snapped out, and the tall blonde behind Yuuri spoke up with an irritated tone.

"Tch, they're already here." Yuuri glanced back to see the blonde swinging himself up on his horse and drawing his sword, facing the other three riders. Yuuri's eyes widened at the huge piece of sharp pointy metal, feeling faint again. _Sure_, he had just contemplated castrating people with just that sharp deadly implement, but he had thought it had been some sort of dull prop sword, not a real live killing tool!

He saw the brown haired soldier draw a sword too -equally pointy, deadly and sharp- and point it at the macho blonde, scowling darkly.

"Get away from Yuuri, Adalbert!" The blonde didn't answer, snarling at the brunette and giving out a war cry as he charged, sword at the ready.

"Von Grantz Adalbert, why do you encroach our boundaries!" He shouted as he swung his sword at the tall blonde, who just grinned and swiftly blocked the blow with his own, their swords pausing between them as each fought for the upper hand and tried to push the other back.

The other two riders burst past the two swordsmen, past Yuuri who ducked down closer to the ground and put his hands protectively over his head, and towards the crowd of villagers who scattered at the sight of the armed soldiers, several screaming their lungs out as they turned tail and ran.

"Sir Weller Conrart, superior of cowards." The owner-of-the-still-fabulous-cape sneered (Adalbert, was it?) Yuuri rolled his eyes slightly, the whole thing reminding him of one of those battles during medieval times, where the opponents had to announce each other before fighting. '_Honestly, this whole thing is just_-' Yuuri abruptly lost his train of thought and let out a yelp as he felt a pair of hands on his slender waist, lifting him up in the air.

Up, up, up and- Yuuri's eyes widened and he let out a shrill sound of ail as he saw just how high he was going. He heard the sound of large wings flapping in the air and stiffened, before slowly looking over his shoulder.

A skull grinned back at him.

Yuuri snapped his head back front, closing his eyes tightly and hunching into himself. It was the _skeleton._ The flying _skeleton _was carrying him up into the air. His whole body tensed and he tried to stop his body from shaking in chock and fear as he _really _didn't want the skeleton to drop him.

His eyes snapped open as suddenly a pair of bony arms wrapped around his middle, giving him a very bony hug. He looked behind him in surprise and noticed the skeleton looking at him, and the arms around his middle tightened and the skeleton grin widened as it clattered it's teeth at him, tilting it's head to the side and looking, dare he say it, kind of cute.

He could feel the tension slowly leaking out of his body the longer he spent in that bony hug, and he could feel his glossed lips twitching up in a smile and gave into the urge, a small giggle bursting out of his throat and his face shining up with a bright smile at the skeleton hugging him.

He was torn out of his moment with the skeleton by the drama happening below him (way, _way_ below him. He would have totally done a shriek-and-faint if it hadn't been for the arms wrapped securely around his waist.) past his dainty white shoes and at the men facing each other.

"How very clever of you," Adalbert mocked, glancing up at Yuuri high up in the sky, "Using those vermin for your dirty work." Yuuri frowned at the insult, his own arms curling around the arms hugging his waist. Vermin? Did he mean the skeleton? Yuuri bristled at the insult against his new hug-buddy and glanced back at the skeleton who was watching him, head still cocked to the side.

Sure, they had gotten off at a rough start (with it scaring the _beejeezus _out of Yuuri) but anything capable of the wonderful act of _hugging _doesn't deserve being called vermin!

Yuuri pursed his lips in annoyance, snuggling into the bony hug, (it was the first sign of affection he had received since he had arrived to this crazy place, and _damn_ if needed it!) he was liking this Adalbert character less and less by the minute, fabulous cape or no fabulous cape.

"The Kotsuhizoku are faithful to us." The brown haired swordsman (was his name Conrad?) replied. "They do not succumb to resentment and lose themselves."

Adalbert gave out a short bark of laugh before replying. "I see. And how about you? Don't you think it's a pity to waste your skills for those bastards?"

Conrad smiled. "Unfortunately Adalbert, unlike you, I don't focus on love alone. " The sound of hooves filled the air again, as the riders who had chased away the villagers came galloping down the road again, shouting "Your excellency!" at the top of their lungs.

Adalbert looked over at them with a grin. "Seems like I'm outnumbered, I'll retreat for now." The he turned his head up and looked at Yuuri.

"You just be patient and wait for me, I'll be back to save you in just a bit!" The he snapped the reins and his horse took of running, leaving Yuuri contemplating making some sort of a mean face after him. He didn't need that blonde scoundrel to save him! He was even thinking of giving up ever getting his hands on that awesome cape.

Anything touched by that brute would probably have been infected with his assholery anyway.

"Don't chase him." Conrad said below him, stopping his men from going after the fleeing blonde, and Yuuri turned to the skeleton behind him, his arms hugging the bony arms around his middle tighter.

"Honey, I think you can set me down now, all the ruckus seems to be over. Er, gently if you please, I don't really like heights all that much." He said, batting his eyelashes and grinning when the skeleton nodded and clattered it's teeth again. They swooped down slowly and the skeleton gently put Yuuri down on the ground.

"Thank you sweetie!" Yuuri chirped and pressed a glossy kiss to the skeletons cheekbone, a small sparkly pink lip print left behind on the bone white cheekbone. The skeleton tilted it's head again, flapped it's wings and clattered it's teeth, leaving Yuuri cooing over it's 'cuteness'.

He was interrupted by Conrad striding over to him, a worried look on his face. Yuuri looked up at the tall man, taking in what he'd missed in all the craziness. Like the scar over his right eyebrow and the gentle look in his eyes. Yuuri frowned as he felt that there was something about him, something _familiar_ that made him want to trust the man.

Yuuri shook the feeling off for now, and perched a hand on his cocked hip, raising an delicate eyebrow.

"Honey, you've got quite a lot of things to explain here."

* * *

><p>AN: Am I the only one who thinks that the Koshi's are absolutely adorable? Hopefully after this chapter, I won't be. -grin-<p> 


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